My head is about to burst. Hours spent in front of a screen at college and now the same again. Perhaps I should get back to writing on my type machine and hide all in the safety of my drawers. W. and A., as lovely as they are, were driving me crazy today, I was late and I haven’t smoked for the last few days, butI feel like I need it. And sadly, I need money, as usual. I decided on a whim to go to London, have booked the tickets and now I have no money at all. Rent needs to be paid next Friday, I need to pay gas and electiricity bill asap (A. has already paid it for me), plumber is coming round and will probably take from us as much money as possible, as everything is falling apart in this house. Oh, well. Usual crap, usual moaning. Moanday till Shatterday.
I made some peanuts on my drawings. I should have been cleverer in my olden days, sucked up to people with right connections….but that’s not me. I have to find another solution. Probably finding a job, at last. Stop worry about paying the bills. And once I will get back on track, I’ll move out from here, somewhere even nearer to the seaside. With whom will it be, I have no idea. With a man, a woman, a whole commune? Who knows. At last, I don’t feel entirely hopeless. Might be just the medication that I am taking – still good. Soon, soon, my title here will be irrelevant. At last, I can IMAGINE myself in a different position. Living a different life. A scientist I was dating a while ago, told me with a pinch of envy; You know, science is limited, but imagination is limitless. But it isn’t true. But now, I need to get back to normal life. Very, very soon.